Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
please don't ironically join a cult
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