Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
