They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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