Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
