Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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