Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
