I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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