What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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