if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
