I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
