You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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