LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
