youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The beer is more important than you right now.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
