You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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