You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
