Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
