I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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