we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
