perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
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