honey bunches of taint.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
