why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He better not be in your backpack
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Is this like a preordered booty call?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
