I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
