You work out of a Hotel?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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