youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
