Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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