Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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