Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
