It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
