I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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