she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
