I think my fart just growled at me.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Can you bring me the toilet please
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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