That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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