i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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