you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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