Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
