Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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