Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
