Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
