And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
