these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
