I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
