she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
