Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
