remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
