You're so nebulous sometimes
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
The struggles of a small town man whore
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
