you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
