so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
