For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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