and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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