I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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